Retirement and Death
Having been confronted with the sad passing of both my mother and my stepmother this fall, my sister and I are fast learning that death can be an organizational mess. It's amazing that so much is written about effective retirement planning yet there is scant "how to" information about preparing for your parent's inevitable event. At a time when those left behind are grieving the loss of older loved ones (parents, "not 21" partner, etc), searching for missing documents, if they exist at all, is tough.
In a quick survey about death preparedness, only one of my colleagues expressed confidence about leaving his spouse in great shape. Apparently, he and his wife have documented "need to know" information in one central location, should one or both of them meet their demise. They are debt-free so their vital paperwork emphasizes savings accounts and insurance policies. Others confessed that they have more work to do and were glad for the prodding.
While this blog is not typically focused on personal financial planning issues, I'm including some thoughts herein as I believe it is critical to take steps NOW to protect your family. At a certain point, it's too late!
Here are a few of my thoughts about advance planning, with a strong caveat to seek professional financial guidance. My comments are parent-centric but could certainly apply to other individuals as well.
- Make sure that wills are signed, notarized and duly executed. Some states may not recognize a will as legitimate if it has not been properly processed. My mother had two wills, neither of which are recognized by Florida as "acceptable."
- Buy term life insurance to cover your outstanding debts, at a minimum.
- Create a binder of relevant documents, including account names and numbers.
- Obtain a long-term care policy and encourage your parents to do likewise. Some states provide tax incentives for this type of purchase. Even if no tax savings apply, it's nice to know that a loved one need not lose all assets as the price for getting needed care.
- Inform relevant persons of your desires about granting a power of attorney (limited or full) to others so that everyone is fully informed, before the fact, and in agreement about who has control over funds.
- Talk to each of your parents when they are healthy, and not in mourning, about the life style they envision as a widowed single.
- Ask if plans have been made for the care of pets.
- Try to supportive if you are lucky enough to have time with an ill parent, putting your sadness aside "for now." My stepmother died rather suddenly so I was unable to say goodbye. With my mother, I am grateful for the few weeks I had with her before she went into hospice. If you have a sibling(s) with whom you can take turns being the "strong one" during the last days, you are fortunate indeed.
- Take care of yourself and try to look on the bright side, to the extent possible. My sister and I were amazed to meet so many extraordinarily kind nurses and elder care professionals - true heroes in every sense of the word, doing their job with grace and reassurance.
When the time comes, and it will happen to us all, it will be tough enough to settle financial affairs in a timely fashion. Why make it harder when some advance planning can help ease the pain for everyone?
Editor's Notes: The items below may be of interest. Not everyone will have a large pool of assets to warrant formal estate planning. However, that should not discourage having candid discussions with your aging parents and other loved ones about money.
